i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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