I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
