If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
