We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
