at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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