just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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