You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
