let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
