Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
