she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
