he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
