Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
