this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
