its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
