Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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