Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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