Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize