I want to have your abortion
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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