I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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