I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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