Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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