This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can you bring me the toilet please
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
