Umm I'm too high to move.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
