i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize