let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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