When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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