Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
