I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
