Welp...herpes.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
