A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
