But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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