So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
