guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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