if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
