he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
