Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
