are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
