I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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