He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize