If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
