On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
