Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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