This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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