My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
