some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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