I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
