You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
