mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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