I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
