If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Operation Purity has been aborted
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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