Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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