Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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