there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
