And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
