tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
