I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize