You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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