he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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